I am I can

I am I can Illustration

I am I can

I am. I can' was created to invite reflection about the use of violence (in any form) being a ‘choice’.

We can each choose non-violence in all relationships. We invite people who are using control, abuse and violence to view this animation and to seek support.

Women and children are overwhelmingly the victims of domestic and family violence and those who use violence are overwhelmingly male. Domestic and family violence can be perpetrated by a partner, family member, carer, house mate, boyfriend or girlfriend. Women also commit domestic and family violence against men, as do same-sex partners (Domestic Violence NSW, 2018). Domestic and family violence is also committed by and committed against people who identify as transgender, non-binary, intersex and gender-diverse.

Seek Support

  • Do you hurt the people you care about? Are you using domestic and family violence?
  • Thinking about talking to someone? Don’t know where to turn to get support to change your actions? 

There are places that can help.


The Men’s Referral Service (MRS) is operated by No to Violence (NTV) and takes calls from men and women who are looking for help to improve their wellbeing and safety, who want to improve the wellbeing and safety of their children, or who are looking for help for their partner or another male family member. 1300 766 491 | https://ntv.org.au/

Say It Out Loud encourages LGBTQ+ communities to have healthy relationships, get help for unhealthy relationships and support their friends. https://sayitoutloud.org.au/abusive-relationships/are-you-hurting-someone

Mensline Australia is a national and online counselling service offering support for Australian men anywhere, anytime. https://mensline.org.au/family-violence/using-violence/are-you-using-domestic-or-family-violence/

More information about Men's Behaviour Change (MBC) Programs delivered in states and territories:

  • NSW - View a list of providers registered as compliant with the NSW Practice Standards for Men's Behaviour Change Programs
  • QLD - Read more at speaq.org.au about Queensland’s network of practitioners and services working with men to stop violence and abusive behaviour with their partners and family members.
  • WA - Find out more about the Men’s Behaviour Change Programs delivered in Western Australia

Aotearoa | New Zealand

The Family Violence Information Line (0800 456 450) provides self-help information and connects people to services where appropriate. It is available seven days a week, from 9am to 11pm, with an after-hours message redirecting callers in the case of an emergency.

If you are concerned about violence, there are people who can help:

The National Network of Stopping Violence signposts to services including:

More initiatives

I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics
I am I can Graphics

Reflection for responders

With rare exceptions, the use of control, abuse and violence is a choice. Understanding this is important in eliminating excuses for using violence (in any form) and in remembering that non-violence is possible.

Why is it important to be talking about control, abuse and violence as a choice?

If we deny violence (in any form) as a choice:

  • we diminish the responsibility to choose non-violence
  • we diminish a person’s capacity to control their actions/behaviours
  • we diminish the evidence of non-violence (i.e. non-violence prior to the domestic relationship or non-violence to others who are not in the domestic relationship).

Creating Conversations Cards 

We invite responders to view and reflect on the ideas presented in the ‘I am. I can' animation.

Responders who are creating and supporting conversations about the use of violence as a choice may wish to draw from these 'I am I can' creating conversations cards. The cards contain the words from the I am I can animation. You may wish to download, view or print use the cards to:

  • talk about what reactions and responses to the ideas shared in the animation
  • reflect on and identify where we individually and collectively make excuses for violence
  • consider how we can be more informed and eliminate excuses as individuals, services and systems.

Share your response

Share your response to the  'I am I can' animation in this anonymous feedback survey to inform future editions. Read some examples of responses below:

“I just watched the I am I can clip. Unfortunately when I think about the physical and emotional abuse my siblings and myself experienced growing up, my step father never hid his actions. It was well known through our neighbours, family and friends. It was like it was accepted in society back in the day.  He never hid his abuse. It was only exacerbated by his alcohol abuse. My reaction to the clip led straight to my thoughts of how I promised to myself I would never be abusive to anyone, most importantly those closest to me.

I have however, learnt with help of my psychologist, that in my professional sporting life, where I was deemed a very aggressive opponent, I always would hit back saying I was just ‘super competitive’. Since having regular sessions with my psychologist I learnt that a lot of the aggression I showed on the playing field was actually that, aggression. A kind of reflection of my way dealing with abuse from my childhood. Getting support helped me understand more about how others experienced my actions, what was going on for me, and the control I have about my choices.” |

[Australian former professional rugby league footballer]

"I just watched it then and it is honestly amazing, considering the subject matter it has been handled in a really evocative way. The pacing, the animation and the overall look is truly some beautiful work." 

[Audio Production Engineer]

"Powerful, important tool for a very pressing issue. In my experience, male dominated industries such as trades, construction could benefit highly from initiatives like these." 

[Voice Over Artist]

Who do you wish had access to 'I am I can'?

  • Construction, Building (trades) Entertainment
  • Schools 
  • Corporate workplaces
  • Workplaces involving young adults
  • Law Enforcement
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